Cry It Out or Don't Sleep

As I've discussed, my sweet Abe is not much of a sleeper. He is up often at night looking for Mom. I know he has a strong suck to sleep association. He sleeps all night, just wakes briefly and wants me there. My concern is his naps. I know that he needs to nap in order to be healthy and happy. Right now he is sleeping about 2-3 hours broken into about 3 naps. Usually he will take one long nap and two 20-30 minute naps. It has come to the point that on the weekends I will arrange our schedule so that a long car ride is at nap time so I know he will sleep. Eh...whatever works.

Now, I am going to talk about Ferber and Crying It Out (CIO). I know many of you Readers have done CIO with your own children and have had luck with it. I'm not dismissing your parenting at all. This is just my opinion.

A friend of mine and I were chatting on her FB wall about sleep training her 4 month old baby. One of her friends responded and said that one night she decided to turn off the baby monitor and let her baby cry and figure it out herself ("so bad I know LOL" yeah, hilarious).  My heart cracked a little bit for that baby. In this case, I am dismissing her parenting...I think that is downright irresponsible and mean. I kind of want to punch her in the face, make her cry, and shut her in a dark room all night long...alone.

I happened upon this post today: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/.

If you don't want to take the time to go over and read it, it is 10 reasons she doesn't believe in CIO. Some of it is a little over the top but for the most part I completely agree with what she says. She states, " Prolonged cries in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain." I know when I cry hard that my head hurts and it really sucks.

She goes on to talk about when the baby's cries cease, it isn't because the baby is content., he or she has given up hope that Mom and or Dad are coming to the rescue. He or she has worn them self out. She also says that babies will often go into a deep sleep after CIO and supporters of the method think this is a success when actually babies fall into a deep sleep after trauma.

I was talking with a coworker whose daughter has two small children. She told me that her daughter did Ferberize her oldest child and while it worked the first time around, she had to keep doing it every time the child was sick or teething. I can't imagine getting through it the first time around, never mind having to do it multiple times.

I'm approaching parenting with this thought, if I were Abrahm, how would I want me to respond. I think it is disrespectful to just leave him to cry and ignore his needs. I want my child to respect me so I will treat him with respect.